Planning Your Wedding: 5 Guidelines to Deal with Money Conflict
Money and Family Conversation Tips
It can be hard (ok, not possible) to stay on the same page with your partner and everyone else that touches the wedding planning process throughout the entire time. Here are some tips to work through any money conflicts that will arise during your planning.
Be on the same page with your partner from day one and throughout the process on anything before bringing the issue up to anyone else. Presenting a united front can definitely help you feel grounded when working through different conflicts and communications with others.
Try to understand where a family member is coming from if there is conflict. Understand the world (or their friend groups) from their perspective. Specifically with parents, a wedding is one of the only times that they may get to see their brothers, sisters, and their respective families all in one place; a wedding can often be seen by some as a family reunion, and that makes it so much fun for them.
When discussing money and budgets, sometimes bringing a family member further into the detail of the quote/venue search process and trade-off discussion can help update their perspective a bit (if appropriate). For example, someone contributing money may not realize just how far (or not) their generous gift goes and doing this could help with that perspective.
When first asking parents or others if they might want to contribute, know that they have likely already thought about this quite extensively and have some ideas on what they would like to do. Don’t feel you’re going into completely uncharted territory here. That big church wedding might be something your mother envisioned since you were born or close to it.
Family talks with family. This may just be common sense, but it is likely best for you to talk with your own parents about any possible contributions, expectations, or conflicts and your partner to discuss with theirs. Each family typically has their own communication style and ways of discussing and doing things, and you are the person who knows this subtle language best.
For example, multiple clients have faced conversational nuances partially as a result of regionally different communication styles. Being more direct with their family from the East Coast was helpful, compared to a bit more subtlety when talking with family from the Midwest. There’s no right way to communicate, and I just share this because I’ve found it interesting and helpful for multiple clients in similar situations.
How do you feel? We’ve discussed strategies to save for the wedding, which can be one of the biggest events in your life. What about post-wedding? Does life after wedding even exist?
Looking for more financial advice? Check out what services and programs Momentum offers or schedule a free intro chat with Sarah!